


Owner's Handbook

by Qwertzu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, ISU stands for Intelligent Skating Units, they come with a handy manual, troubleshooting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 19:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qwertzu/pseuds/Qwertzu
Summary: Is your Emil sad? Will your new Minako be compatible with your sister’s Celestino? Have you lost your Phichit? Are you thinking about ordering a Georgi?ISU Customer Service is happy to answer your questions. In this section you will find owner’s handbooks of all our YoI units, frequently asked questions and troubleshooting.





	1. Yakov

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Transformers: Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/403224) by RedEyesOnTheHorizon. 



Congratulations, you are now the (hopefully responsible) owner of the grumpy **Yakov**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

 **Technical specification:**  
  
**Name:** Yakov Feltsman  
**Manufacturer:** RSU, St. Petersburg, Russian Federation  
**Age:** 70  
**Colour scheme:** grey hair (balding), blue eyes  
**Languages:** Russian, English

 **Activation:**  
Your Yakov comes with a bottle of vodka. To wake him up, simply pour him a glass and wait.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Yakov comes with  
\- a fashionable hat  
\- a bottle of Russian vodka  
\- a pair of worn, well-loved skates  
\- a coaching licence and badge  
\- an album with pictures of his former and current students

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Lilia Baranovskaya** – Your Yakov is Lilia’s former husband. Their current relationship is... complicated.

 **Viktor Nikiforov** – Yakov is a coach and father figure to Viktor. He will often find himself frustrated with Viktor’s antics.

 **Georgi Popovich** – Yakov is a coach and father figure to Georgi. Georgi units are very receptive to Yakov’s teaching, making Yakov yell a lot less than usual, despite their penchant for dramatics.

 **Mila Babicheva** – Yakov is a coach and father figure to Mila. Under his guidance, Mila was able to enter the Grand Prix Women's Final.

 **Yuri Plisetsky** – Yakov is a coach and father figure to Yuri. Please note: Too much exposure to Viktor may activate Yuri’s Teenage Edgelord mode, which in turn will make Yakov scream himself hoarse and open a new bottle of vodka.

 **Makkachin** – Yakov is fond of Makkachin and has dog treats stashed away in his office.

 **Potya** – Yakov likes cats in general and will catsit if needed.

 

* * *

 

**Functions:**

**Coach** – Yakov’s default setting. When active, your Yakov will hunt down any skater units in the building and make them practice. He will not spare constructive criticism on the skaters’ performance. Please note: depending on your age, you might be taken for a skater too.

 **Drinking buddy** – This mode will only activate in the presence of fellow exasperated coaches or Nikolai Plisetsky.

 

* * *

 

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

**_My Yakov is muttering to himself in Russian! Has he forgotten English?_ **

Unless very drunk, Yakov is perfectly fluent in English. Your Yakov is most likely swearing. Let him. We strongly advise against using any kind of dictionary to translate what he’s saying. **Warning:** Under no circumstances repeat those words in front of minors and/or Russian speaking folks.

If he doesn’t stop in 15 minutes, get him a Makkachin or Potya to cuddle. That should help.

 

**_My Yakov won’t let me drink Coke/Fanta/other brand of sweet soda._ **

Yakovs are programmed to care about your health. Have you seen the amount of sugar and artificial preservatives that goes into those things? Anyway, prepare to increase your intake of fresh fruit and vegetables and don’t mention the words ‘fast food’ in his hearing range. Consider yourself warned.

 

**_My Yakov wants to buy a flight ticket to Japan!_ **

He’s chasing after Yuri Plisetsky who ran off to Japan to hunt down Viktor. Get in touch with Viktor and remind him to make a choreography for Yuri. If Viktor doesn’t listen, point out to him that Yuri returning to Russia means more ice time alone with Yuuri Katsuki.

If everything else fails, have Nikolai Plisetsky call Yuri and tell him that Potya misses him.

 

**_My Yakov has been silent all day!_ **

He probably has a sore throat from all that yelling. Make him a strong Russian tea in a samovar (not included in the package) and he should be fine.

 

**_My Yakov has long brown hair in a ponytail and keeps calling me ‘bella’._ **

That’s not Yakov, that’s Celestino. If you want, you can bring him to any ISU shop or mail him to us and we will trade him for Yakov.

 

**_Drinking buddy mode does not activate in the presence of Viktor, even though my Viktor is a coach._ **

Your Yakov doesn’t see Viktor as a fellow coach. Give it time.


	2. Viktor

Congratulations, you are now the eccentric and whimsical owner of the majestic **Viktor**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

 **Technical specification:**  
  
**Name:** Viktor Nikiforov  
**Manufacturer:** RSU, St. Petersburg, Russian Federation  
**Date of production:** 25 December 2017  
**Age:** 15** / 27* (please check the serial number)  
**Colour scheme:** long** platinum hair, blue eyes  
**Languages:** Russian, English, French, Japanese*

* Adult Viktor only  
** Teenage Vitya only

 **Activation:**  
Your Viktor comes with a Makkachin unit and a bag of dog treats. To wake Viktor up, activate the Makkachin unit first – simply fill a bowl with the dog treats, and then have Makkachin lick Viktor awake.

Alternatively you can ask a Yakov or a Chris unit to wake him up. It may take a while but he will get up eventually.

If you have a Yuuri unit, ask Phichit to dress him up and have him walk by Viktor’s box. Don’t be surprised if your Viktor wakes up head over heels in love with the beautiful boy from his dream.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Viktor comes with  
\- a Makkachin unit, handbook on the care and feeding of Makkachin, dog treats and various dog accessories  
\- a pair of skates with golden blades  
\- a heavy box of medals and awards (you’re the one who bought the most decorated skater in history, don’t look at us like that)  
\- digital* album full of lovely Makkachin pictures  
\- a photo of him and Yakov  
\- a photo of him and Chris  
\- a heavy box of skincare products  
\- five suitcases of designer clothes  
\- a lovely Makkachin tissue box  
\- a stack of fanmail  
\- a coach badge*  
\- an engagement ring for Yuuri*  
\- Japanese electronic dictionary*  
\- an album of accidentally seductive Yuuri photos, courtesy of Phichit*

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Makkachin** – Your Viktor loves Makkachin and will grow sad if forced to spend too much time away from his Makka.

 **Yuuri Katsuki** – Viktor and Yuuri are soulmates. Adult Viktor will want to become Yuuri’s coach (among other things).

 **Yakov Feltsman** – Viktor has a lot of respect for his coach, even though both teenage Vitya and adult Viktor are prone to ignoring his advice most of the time.

 **Yuri Plisetsky** – Yuri and Viktor are rinkmates. Yuri is often annoyed by Viktor but recognizes him as a great skater and rival.

 **Georgi Popovich** – Rinkmate and friend. Due to the fact that the production of Georgi units began only a day after Viktor’s, they often celebrate their birthdays together. Viktor appreciates Georgi’s penchant for dramatics and will offer make-up advice if asked.

 **Mila Babicheva** – Rinkmate, friend and shopping buddy.

 **Christophe Giacometti** – Friend, rival, drinking pal, shopping buddy, fellow diva, great butt selfie partner.

 **Jean-Jacques Leroy** – While JJ sees Viktor as an adversary obstructing his path to the top, Viktor tends to ignore him and will often forget his name. This will make your JJ sad. We recommend keeping them apart.

 **Phichit Chulanont*** – Phichit has Viktor’s eternal gratitude for being the endless source of Yuuri trivia and adorable pictures (these may or may not include drunk pics, pictures from Yuuri’s pole dancing practice and post-workout gym photos).

 

* * *

 

**Functions:**

**Skater/Living Legend** – Your Viktor will activate in this setting. **Please note:** Don’t leave this function on for too long, or else he might get depressed.

 **Coach*** – This function will only activate after meeting adult Yuuri, though teenage Vitya will happily teach teenage Yuuri a thing or two.

 **Yuuri fanboy** – This function will activate instantly upon seeing Yuuri skate, dance, stand around or, you know, breathe.

 **Dog person** – Viktor’s pre-programmed setting, cannot be deactivated. Don’t be surprised if he ignores you in favour of a dog, especially if it’s a puppy or a poodle.

 **Son-in-law** – Available within hours from meeting Hiroko Katsuki. Son-in-law Viktor will gladly help with Yu-topia’s upkeep, including cleaning, cooking and promoting this beautiful resort.

 

* * *

 

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_My Viktor won’t skate anymore and he’s all melancholic!_ **

It seems you left the Living Legend mode on for too long. Introduce your Viktor to a Yuuri Katsuki unit and ship them to a remote location of your choice. Don’t be surprised if they come back engaged.

 

**_My Viktor is crying!_ **

Oh, my. This may have several causes:

\- Check on Makkachin. If your Makkachin unit is malfunctioning, repair them according to the handbook on the care and feeding of Makkachin (included in the package). Send someone to get Yuuri Katsuki.

\- Yuri Plisetsky has told Viktor that he’s getting bald. Hug your Viktor while repeatedly reassuring him that it’s not true. Send someone to get Yuuri Katsuki.

\- Phichit has sent him a Detroit Days photo of Yuuri. It’s okay, let him cry. Or you can also look at the photo and join him.

\- Yuuri has agreed to marry him.

 

**_My Vitya is being chased by fangirls!_ **

Viktor usually likes the attention but if he doesn’t, get him sunglasses and a hoodie to hide his hair. Introduce him to Yuuri*/teenage Yuuri** and whisper ‘ _hashtag Victuuri_ ’ into Phichit’s ear.

 

**_My Viktor has dyed his hair black and put on Goth make-up!_ **

Either your Viktor is trying to surprise his audience or you might have mistaken Georgi for Viktor.

 

**_My Viktor won’t stop flirting with anything that moves!_ **

That’s not Viktor, that’s Chris. Don’t worry, he’s mostly harmless (except for an occasional quick butt grope) and doesn’t mean anything by it. If you want, you can bring him to any ISU shop or mail him to us and we will trade him for Viktor.

 

**_I have a concern about the accessories for my adult Victor unit. My understanding was that he favored Prada, however his Oxford shoes are CLEARLY Louboutin. Is this a defect? He's in constant cry mode over this. I simply cannot bear any more of seeing his (beautiful) pearl-like tears because I think they may kill me dead. Note: I've already tried to troubleshoot this issue with my adult Yuuri unit however Yuuri seems apathetic and/or indifferent to the shoe crisis. Can you send me some Prada for my Victor? Or, alternatively, make my Yuuri unit actually give a sh**?! Thank you!_ **

We are very sorry but we are unable to make your Yuuri unit give a damn about what Viktor is wearing. This is because a) Yuuris firmly believe that Viktor would look amazing even in a burlap sack, and b) Yuuris probably think that "Louboutin" is French for "lobotomy".

However, the shoe issue is easily solved! Your Viktor has accidentally switched shoes with Chris. Have him call Chris and arrange a meeting to switch them back.

 

**_My Viktor is flexing (naked!) on top of the Hasetsu Castle, yelling something about a... chihoko? What do I do?_ **

Get his Yuuri to tell him that nobody in the whole world is better than Viktor! Don’t be surprised if Yuuri joins him.


	3. Seung-gil

Congratulations, you are now the (hopefully male) owner of the anti-social **Seung-gil**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Seung-gil Lee  
**Manufacturer:** SKorSU, Seoul, South Korea  
**Date of production:** 9 June 2017  
**Age:** 20  
**Colour scheme:** Black hair, black eyes  
**Languages:** Korean, English **  
**

**Activation:**  
Seung-gil comes with a Siberian Husky. Please activate the dog unit first by filling a bowl with dog treats and let them wake him up.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Seung-gil comes with  
\- a Siberian Husky (unfortunately he refuses to share their name)  
\- a bag of dog treats  
\- album of the unnamed Husky’s photos  
\- a pair of skates  
\- a suitcase of mostly black sportswear

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Unnamed Husky** – Seung-gil loves his dog and is very protective of them.

 **Min-so Park** – Seung-gil’s coach. They are not very close and Seung-gil is prone to ignoring her.

 **Phichit Chulanont** – Their relationship may vary from mere acquaintances through long-distance friends to potential love interest.

 **Yuuri Katsuki** – Fellow dog-lover. If asked, Seung-gil will share photos of his Husky with Yuuri.

 **Otabek Altin** – Seung-gil likes Otabek because he’s quiet and keeps to himself.

 **Sara Crispino** – Seung-gil has Sara’s phone number. No one knows how or why. Please don’t tell Michele.

 **Takeshi Nishigori** – Drunk Seung-gil will steal a kiss from Takeshi. Sober Seung-gil will pretend it didn’t happen.

 

* * *

**  
**

**Functions:**

**Skater** – Seung-gil has a great jumping ability. He was the first skater to land a ratified quad loop.

 **Mathematician** – Thanks to his highly advanced CPU, Seung-gil can make even difficult calculations faster than you can write them down. If he likes you, he will correct your unattended math homework.

* * *

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_My Seung-gil flees every time I cook. What am I doing wrong?_ **

You’re a vegan/vegetarian, aren’t you? Seung-gils have extreme aversion to vegetables. If you want him to keep you company in the kitchen, cook some meat.

 

**_I bought a lovely olive green shirt for Seung-gil that really brings out his eye colour but he won’t wear it._ **

Seung-gil believes he doesn't look good in anything but dark sportswear. He has absolutely no interest in fashion and will dress himself either in black or in something that would make a parrot proud. He doesn’t give a damn what others think.

****

**_My Seung-gil keeps ignoring me!_ **

What did you expect? If you want a unit that won’t ignore you, you can bring him to any ISU shop or mail him to us and we will trade him for someone else.

 

**_Seung-gil won’t talk to my Mila / Minako / other female unit / his coach / his female fans._ **

Unfortunately, Seung-gils are indifferent towards the female population.

****

**_I thought Seung-gils were supposed to be anti-social but mine seems quite... affectionate?_ **

Yes, Seung-gils can be affectionate drunks. Wait until he’s sober.

 

**_A Seung-gil kissed my Takeshi! What do I do?_ **

Ignore it. They will too. (Unless your Yuuko seems interested, in which case get a babysitter for the triplets and let them have their fun.)

 

_**The neighbor up the hall's Seung-Gil seems to be trying to collect all the dogs in the building. Do we need to worry about a dog army and overlord, or is it something else?** _

Your neighbour's Seung-gil seems to have misplaced his Husky. Help him find his dog and it should be fine.  
  
Our analytical department has suggested that Seung-gil is bored. He might not be spending enough time skating. Please advise your neighbour to take him to the ice rink more often.  
  
There's also a teeny, tiny, _miniscule_ chance that he _is_ turning into an overlord and building up his dog army. Please tell your neighbour to get in touch with us and we'll send them a software update.

 


	4. Yuuri

Congratulations, you are now the shy owner of the precious **Yuuri.** To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Yuuri Katsuki  
**Manufacturer:** JSU, Hasetsu, Japan  
**Date of production:** 29 November 2017  
**Age:** 15**/24* (please check the serial number)  
**Colour scheme:** black hair, brown eyes  
**Languages:** Japanese, English, Thai, Russian

 ***** Adult Yuuri only  
** Teenage Yuuri only

 **Activation:**  
Your Yuuri comes with a bowl of katsudon. Just heat it up and wait.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Yuuri comes with  
\- a bowl of Hiroko’s katsudon  
\- lovely blue-rimmed glasses  
\- a pair of skates  
\- a Vicchan unit**  
\- a stash of limited edition posters of Viktor Nikiforov  
\- a box full of every Viktor Nikiforov merchandise you can think of  
\- engagement ring for Viktor*  
\- a picture of him and his family  
\- a picture of him and Phichit  
\- an album of adorable Vicchan photos  
\- a booklet on anxiety – **please read before activation!**

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Hiroko & Toshiya Katsuki **– Hiroko and Toshiya are Yuuri’s parents. They are very supportive of Yuuri, plus meeting Hiroko will activate Viktor’s Son-in-law mode.

 **Mari Katsuki** – Yuuri’s big sister. Don’t piss her off. You break a hair on Yuuri’s head, she’ll kick your ass to next Monday and then call Phichit to publicly destroy you on social media. You have been warned.

 **Viktor Nikiforov** – Yuuri’s idol, inspiration, coach*, husband* and soulmate.

 **Makkachin** – Yuuri loves all things fluffy and cuddly, and Makkachin is one of the cutest, fluffiest and cuddliest doggos out there.

 **Phichit Chulanont** – Yuuri’s best friend and former roommate. Phichit will coax Yuuri out of his shell, offer a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on, help with hiding the body of anyone who dared to hurt Yuuri...

 **Celestino Cialdini** – Yuuri’s coach**/former coach*. The get along well.

 **Minako Okukawa** – Yuuri’s ballet teacher and honorary family member. Yuuri has a lot of respect for Minako.

 **Yuri Plisetsky** – Though Yuri's initial reaction to your Yuuri may be negative, his perception of Yuuri will gradually shift from one-sided hostility through grudging respect to a tentative friendship.

 **The Nishigori family** – Nishigoris are Yuuri’s good friends. Yuuri is an honorary uncle to the triplets.

 **Kenjiro Minami** – Yuuri is Minami’s idol and Minami will look at him like he hung the stars on the sky. After Yuuri eventually accepts the fact that he has such a devoted fan, he will feel protective of Minami.

 **Vicchan** – Yuuri’s beloved poodle. When earthquake destroyed our Vicchan factory, it was announced that only teenage Yuuris will get a Vicchan unit. Yuuris cried. Viktors cried. Seung-gils cried. Every dog-loving person in a ten mile radius cried. Your adult Yuuri will miss his Vicchan terribly.

 **UPDATE:** Thanks to your massive support and generous donations we have started rebuilding our Vicchan factory! Special thanks to our resident Phichit for his **#** **BringVicchanBack** campaign. We added a **Donate to Vicchan Factory** button to every purchase. Please spread the word so that every Yuuri can get a Vicchan unit!

* * *

 

**Functions:**

**Skater/Japan’s ace** – Even though it takes a lot to convince Yuuri of the fact, he is a brilliant skater with beautiful step sequences, astounding stamina and the ability to dance like he’s making music with his body.

 **Viktor fanboy** – Yuuri’s pre-programmed setting, cannot be deactivated.

 **Party animal*** – unlocked after consuming too much alcohol. Known side effects include loss of clothes due to overheating, pole dancing (and related loss of clothes for practicality reasons), challenging everyone to a dance-off, falling in love with Viktor all over again, short-term memory deactivation. (Un)fortunately, your Yuuri won’t remember anything he did or said in this mode.

 **Dancer** – Yuuri units come with a wide variety of dancing styles, including ballroom dances, break-dance, pole dancing and ballet. If you ask him nicely (or get him drunk enough to challenge you to a dance-off), he will be happy to demonstrate. Be careful, though, Viktor units are prone to jealousy.

* * *

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_My Yuuri keeps on running away from Viktor!_ **

\- Tell Viktor to put some clothes on and to tone down the seduction. Sober Yuuri is a shy innocent angel who is nothing like Eros Yuuri.  
\- Get your Yuuri drunk and lock them together in a room. Things will sort themselves out.  
\- Or, tell your Yuuri that he's only dreaming about Viktor (again). That should calm him down.

 

**_My Yuuri woke up with the words OVERCOME CHIHOKO scribbled on his back._ **

Go find Viktor. He’ll be flexing on top of the roof somewhere, sulking. Let your Yuuri reassure him that there is nobody better than Viktor in the whole universe. (Note: Clothes might be shed on both sides.)

 

**_It’s currently off-season and my Yuuri has gained a katsudon tummy. I’m worried about how Viktor will react to it._ **

No need to worry, Viktor actually adores Yuuri’s katsudon tummy and will be mildly sad to see it go as the next season approaches.

 

**_My Yuuri has eloped with Viktor!_ **

Bribe Phichit to track them down. Don’t ask how in the world did he manage it.

****

**_I tried to order a Yuuri but the website says he’s temporarily unavailable in my area. What does that mean?_ **

The full wording of the unavailability notice is “We’re sorry, this unit is temporarily unavailable in your area. Error 172: Not enough Viktors.”  
The number of Yuuris and Viktors in the area should always be balanced. There’s nothing more heart-breaking than a Yuuri crying his eyes out because every other Yuuri has a Viktor except for him. And nobody wants two depressed Viktors shedding a waterfall of tears over the same Yuuri (who already is in a relationship with a third one!).

You can get the Victuuri combo for a discounted price or make a deal with your friend that they will purchase a Viktor.

 

_**My friend has an Adult Yuuri unit while I have a Teenage Viktor. It is not too far-fetched that they might meet, and I'm wondering on how they will react.  
** _

In case of teenage-adult Victuuri bots in either combination, the teen will instantly develop a harmless celebrity crush on the adult, and while the adult will find the teen cute, there will be no romance between them. Once Yuuri (of either age) overcomes his shyness, they will become good friends and gladly coach each other.

Teenage Vitya will boldly approach adult Yuuri and ask for a selfie and advice regarding step sequences, in some cases he'll even create a short program inspired by his idol. Naturally, adult Yuuri will be greatly impressed with his skating.

Teenage Yuuri will timidly ask if adult Viktor could (maybe possibly if it isn't too much of a bother) sign one of his posters, and, if left unsupervised, will spend hours watching adult Viktor skate. Sharing ice time with adult Viktor will greatly improve teenage Yuuri's jumps.

Even with no romance, knowing a younger/older version of their soulmate will make them feel like a better bot and they will look forward to meeting their true match even more.


	5. Phichit

Congratulations, you are now the cheerful owner of the sociable **Phichit**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Phichit Chulanont  
**Manufacturer:** ThSU, Bangkok, Thailand  
**Date of production:** 30 April 2018  
**Age:** 21  
**Colour scheme:** black hair, dark grey eyes  
**Languages:** Thai, English, Japanese

 **Activation:**  
Your Phichit comes with a smartphone with an unlimited* data plan. To activate Phichit, please charge the smartphone and turn it on.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Phichit comes with  
\- a smartphone with unlimited* data plan  
\- various smartphone accessories  
\- three portable phone chargers  
\- multitude of social media accounts  
\- a pair of skates  
\- three lovely hamsters  
\- photo albums of Yuuri, Celestino, Leo and Guang Hong  
\- a limited golden extended edition of The King and the Skater I+II

*just because the plan is _unlimited_ , it doesn’t mean _Phichit_ can’t use it up. Chuck Norris once used up his unlimited data plan in three weeks. Our resident Phichit called him an amateur. (Please don’t tell Mr Norris!)

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**His hamsters** – Phichit loves his hamsters and may try to smuggle them wherever he’s going.

 **Yuuri Katsuki** – Though seemingly his exact opposite, Yuuri is Phichit’s BFF. Despite being the younger of the two, Phichit is very protective of Yuuri and is not afraid to give the great Viktor Nikiforov a nasty shovel talk before sharing his exclusive album of Detroit Days Yuuri photos.

 **Celestino Cialdini** – Ciao Ciao is Phichit’s coach. They get along well.

 **Satsuki Muramoto** – Phichit’s second coach while he’s in Thailand. She is supportive of him and will cheer him on during competitions.

 **Seung Gil** – Their relationship may vary from mere acquaintances through long-distance friends to potential love interest.

 **Christophe Giacometti** – Their relationship may vary from mere acquaintances through long-distance friends to potential love interest.

 **Guang Hong Ji** – Guang Hong looks up to Phichit and the two are good friends. It was Phichit who introduced Guang Hong to social media. Listen, young Padawan, to the jedi.

 **Leo de la Iglesia** – Friend and fellow SNS enthusiast.

 

* * *

**Functions:**

**Skater** – Phichit loves skating and wants to promote the sport in his homeland.

 **PR Manager** – Phichit will gladly take over your rarely used social media account and make a star out of you, even if you are a quiet bookworm with non-existent social life.

 **Memelord/Internet guru** – Are you too busy to check 9gag every day? Can’t keep up with all the new hashtags and memes? Don’t worry, Phichit’s got your back! He is a walking encyclopaedia of all things trending and will be happy to explain. (He may get a little overenthusiastic, though, so feel free to stop him anytime.)

 

* * *

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_I have lost my Phichit! Please help!_ **

No need to worry. Simply check his social media for photos and/or locations and you’ll find him.

 

**_My Phichit got disconnected from the internet and can’t reconnect! What do I do? He’s panicking!_ **

He’s used up his unlimited data plan. Don’t worry, it will automatically replenish at the start of the month. Until then, find him a Wi-Fi hotspot and he’ll fine.

 

**_My Phichit is sad! :((((_ **

\- Check on his hamsters.  
\- Check on Yuuri.  
\- Check if his smartphone is charged.  
\- Check his internet connection.

If everything seems fine, try playing one of his The King and the Skater DVDs and he should cheer right up.

 

**_Why is my Phichit so antisocial?_ **

Are you sure it’s not a Seung-gil unit?

****

**_Phichit bought everyone a hamster-shaped hat._ **

Thank him and put it on. Don’t forget to let him take at least twenty selfies!

 

**_My Phichit wants to post downright inappropriate photos of drunk & naked Viktor clinging to Yuuri on his Instagram!_ **

Gently remind your Phichit that many of his followers are minors. If it doesn’t help, convince him to keep those photos for later as potential blackmail material.


	6. Otabek

Congratulations, you are now the quiet owner of the stoic **Otabek**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Otabek Altin  
**Manufacturer:** KzSU, Almaty, Kazakhstan  
**Date of production:** 31 October 2017  
**Age:** 18  
**Colour scheme:** black hair, brown eyes  
**Languages:** Kazakh, Russian, English

 **Activation:**  
To activate Otabek, please play some rock music. Playlists are available at our website for your convenience.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Otabek comes with  
\- a pair of skates  
\- a teddy bear  
\- a motorcycle driving licence  
\- a spare helmet for Yuri  
\- a can of Yuri’s Angels repellent*  
\- DJ equipment

*Beta version

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Yuri Plisetsky** – Otabek’s friend and inspiration. Please note: Romance will be an option with adult Yuri model.

 **Puma Tiger Scorpion/Potya** – Otabek likes animals and is fond of Potya.

 **Yakov Feltsman** – Otabek will listen to Yakov. He attended a training camp run by Yakov, where he met Yuri and decided not to carry on with ballet, much to Lilia’s displeasure.

 **Jean-Jacques Leroy** – Although they are not particularly close, JJ taught Otabek how to land the quad Salchow. However, due to the hostility Yuri feels towards JJ, Otabek will tend to stay away from JJ (especially if Yuri is around) because he prefers not to provoke Yuri’s anger.

 **Leo de la Iglesia** – Leo and Otabek are friendly and follow each other’s private Instagram.

* * *

**Functions:**

**Skater** – Otabek is a skater notable for the high technical difficulty of his performances.

 **DJ** – In his spare time, Otabek will be happy to act as a DJ at your party or a stand-in DJ at your local club.

 **Responsible adult** – Otabek will make sure your kids and/or more immature units don’t do anything too crazy or dangerous.

 **Knight in shining armour** – Otabek has a built-in Yuri’s Angels radar and will come to Yuri’s rescue when it goes off.

* * *

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_My Otabek has lost/run out of his Yuri’s Angels repellent / the repellent isn’t working._ **

Unfortunately, the repellent is only in beta version and may not always be effective. Our R&D department is diligently working on improving it.

 

 **_My Otabek won’t let me go clubbing! What the hell, ISU?!_ ** **_>_** ** _:(_ **

Probably because you’re underage and you shouldn’t be allowed to clubs in the first place. Now stop whining and go do your homework.

 

**_My Phichit has been trying for weeks to get Otabek use his social media, to no avail._ **

Other than Instagram which he has set to private, Otabek hates SNS and won’t use them. Note: Knowing this won’t stop Phichit from trying.

****

**_My Otabek spends hours posing in front of the mirror. Also, he sings a lot. I thought he was supposed to be a DJ, not a singer._ **

That sounds like JJ. If you want, you can bring him to any ISU shop or mail him to us and we will trade him for Otabek.


	7. Yuri

Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of the temperamental **Yuri**. To ensure his proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Yuri Plisetsky  
**Manufacturer:** RSU, Moscow, Russian Federation  
**Date of production:** 1 March 2017  
**Age:** 15 (Note: adult model is currently in preparation)  
**Colour scheme:** blond hair, turquoise eyes  
**Languages:** Russian, English, Kazakh, Japanese

 **Activation:**  
Your Yuri comes with a bag of Nikolai’s pirozhki. Simply open the bag and let the delicious smell wake him up. **  
**

**Accessories:**  
Your Yuri comes with  
\- a Potya unit, handbook on the care and feeding of Potya, cat treats  
\- a pair of skates  
\- a bag of Nikolai’s pirozhki  
\- a suitcase of feline-patterned clothes  
\- a photo of him and his grandfather  
\- an album of incredibly cute Potya pictures

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Puma Tiger Scorpion/Potya** – Yuri loves Potya and will be sad if he spends too much time away from them.

 **Makkachin** – Despite his posing, Yuri actually likes Makkachin and will sneak treats to them in secret.

 **Nikolai Plisetsky** – Nikolai is Yuri’s grandfather. He is very proud and supportive of Yuri. They have a beautiful relationship.

 **Otabek Altin** – Otabek is Yuri’s dear friend. Please note: Romance will be an option with adult Yuri model.

 **Yakov Feltsman** – Yakov is a coach and father figure to Yuri. Due to his stubborn nature, Yuri tends to disregard Yakov’s advice.

 **Lilia Baranovskaya** – Yuri’s ballet teacher. Yuri will listen to her, because angry Lilia is _scary._

 **Mila Babicheva & Georgi Popovich **– Annoying sibling figures and rinkmates.

 **Viktor Nikiforov** – Former idol and occasional coach. Yuri is often annoyed by Viktor but recognizes him as a great skater and rival.

 **Yuuri Katsuki –** Though Yuri's initial reaction to Yuuri may be negative, his perception of Yuuri will gradually shift from one-sided hostility through grudging respect to a tentative friendship.

 **Hiroko, Toshiya & Mari Katsuki** – The Katsuki family will happily adopt Yuri into their fold, wrap him up in soft blankets and feed him katsudon. Don’t be surprised if they refer to him as Yurio; it’s to distinguish him from Yuuri.

 **The Nishigori family** – The Nishigoris are Yuri’s friends. He and Yuuko keep in touch with frequent texting, and the triplets adore him.

 **Jean-Jacques Leroy** – Yuri despises JJ and will turn hostile if they meet. Keep them apart if possible. We strongly advise you to not let the two of them in the same room unsupervised.

 

* * *

**Functions:**

**Skater –** Holder of a world record despite his age, Yuri boasts an amazing jumping ability and beautiful spins. He is quite ambitious and competitive.

 **Russian punk/Teenage Edgelord** – This mode is actually a defence mechanism triggered by irritation, mostly due to prolonged exposure to forgetful Viktor, JJ or swarms of Yuri’s Angels. To deactivate it, remove the source of irritation and give him a cat to cuddle. Cute cat videos will also do.

 **Cat person** – Yuri’s pre-programmed setting, cannot be deactivated. Don’t be surprised if he ignores you in favour of a cat, especially if it’s a kitten or feline.

 

* * *

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_Why is my Yuri hiding under the bed / table / in the closet?_ **

There are probably some Yuri’s Angels lurking around. Wait until they go away or call Otabek for help.

****

**_What are Yuri’s Angels?_ **

The term originally referred to a group of female students posing as interns who infiltrated our R&D department after Yuri’s designs were leaked. It has since expanded to include fangirls, fanboys and even fanbots who religiously attend Yuri’s performances and sometimes stalk him in hopes of getting a picture or an autograph. Generally they are pretty harmless and easily identifiable by cat-eared headbands. Yuri is often annoyed by them but will fight you if you dare suggest that JJ Girls are a prettier and/or better behaved lot.

 

**_My Yuri wants to buy a flight ticket to Japan??_ **

He’s trying to hunt down Viktor. Get in touch with Viktor and remind him to make a choreography for Yuri. If Viktor doesn’t listen, point out to him that Yuri staying in Russia means more ice time alone with Yuuri Katsuki.

If everything else fails, remind him that his grandpa and Potya would miss him a lot.

****

**_My Yuri unit seems to be angry 24/7. What should I do? :(_ **

Your Yuri has most likely entered the Teenage Edgelord mode. Thankfully, this is easily remedied. Try one or more of the following steps:  
  
\- Get Potya. If Potya is not available at the moment, take him to a cat café. Surround him with fluffy kittens!  
\- Feed him Nikolai's pirozhki.  
\- Feed him Hiroko's katsudon.  
\- Arrange a meeting/Skype/call with Nikolai.  
\- Tell the Nishigori triplets to spam him with cute cat videos.  
\- Ask Otabek to take your Yuri for a ride.


	8. Mari

Congratulations, you are now the laid-back owner of the independent **Mari**. To ensure her proper and problem-free operation, please read this manual.

**Technical Specification:**

**Name:** Mari Katsuki  
**Manufacturer:** JSU, Hasetsu, Japan  
**Age:** 30  
**Colour scheme:** brown hair (partially bleached), brown eyes  
**Languages:** Japanese, English **  
**

**Activation:**  
To activate Mari, please play some J-rock music. Playlists are available at our website for your convenience.

 **Accessories:**  
Your Mari comes with  
\- several bandanas of different colours  
\- a pack of cigarettes (odourless, safe for humans)  
\- a set of earrings  
\- a poster of her favourite band  
\- a photo of her family  
\- an album of adorable baby pictures of her brother  
\- a list of embarrassing stories about Yuuri to be used for entertainment/blackmail

 

* * *

 

**Compatibility:**

**Hiroko & Toshiya Katsuki **– Mari’s parents. They have a warm and loving relationship.

 **Yuuri Katsuki** – Yuuri is Mari’s baby brother and she’s very protective of him. You break a hair on Yuuri’s head, she’ll kick your ass to next Monday and then call Phichit to publicly destroy you on social media. You have been warned.

 **Viktor Nikiforov** – Despite her easy-going nature, Mari isn’t afraid to give the great Viktor Nikiforov a nasty shovel talk. She does like him, though. (As long as he treats her little brother well.)

 **Minako Okukawa** – Close friend and fellow skating fan. They like attending skating competitions together and cheering the skaters on.

 **Phichit Chulanont** – Phichit and Mari bonded over their fondness for J-rock and fierce protective instinct towards Yuuri.

 **Yuri Plisetsky** – On top of being a big fan of Yuri’s skating, Mari has a thing for blond boys. Yuri reminds her of Takao, a singer in her favourite band.

 **Vicchan/Makkachin/Potya** – Like her brother, Mari loves animals.

* * *

 

**Functions:**

**Babysitter** – Mari has plenty of experience with babysitting her brother and the Nishigori triplets, and will watch your kids/troublemaker units if needed.

 **Big sister** – Mari is someone who will listen to you without judging and offer a shoulder to cry on, if needed. She also knows how to diffuse a panic attack.

 **Skating fan** – Pre-programmed setting, cannot be deactivated. Mari will happily cheer the skaters on regardless of their nationality. She will support your clumsy attempts at skating with equal enthusiasm.

* * *

 

**FAQ and troubleshooting:**

 

**_Mari won’t clean after me._ **

Unless you are a guest of Yu-topia, please clean after yourself. Mari is a companion, not a servant bot.

 

**_My Yuuri wants to retire from skating! I asked Mari to talk him out of it but she refused! I thought she was supposed to be a skating fan?_ **

She is. However, she is Yuuri’s sister first and foremost. If forced to pick a side, she will always side with Yuuri. It’s a sibling thing; it has nothing to do with skating.

 

**_My Mari doesn’t have her ears pierced and she likes to drink._ **

Your Minako will be very happy that you confused her with Mari, given that she’s old enough to be Mari’s mother. Of course, if you want, you can bring her to any ISU shop or mail her to us and we will trade her for Mari.

 

_**We are a non-smoking household with children and we have concerns about Mari smoking.** _

No need to worry, Mari smokes special non-tobacco based cigarettes that are completely safe for humans and don’t stink.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to suggest who should be next :)  
> Are you having trouble with your unit? Leave us a comment with your question and our assistants will get back to you.


End file.
